


Donald's Night Of Coke & Jenner

by LionessOnTheThrone (Purrfect)



Category: Donald Trump - Fandom, Keeping Up with the Kardashians RPF, Political RPF, Political RPF - US 21st c., Real Person Fiction
Genre: Bad Sex, F/M, Political Humor, Politics, drug binge, trump being stupid, trump has a small dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 14:57:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9907754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purrfect/pseuds/LionessOnTheThrone
Summary: Donald Trump attends a party in which he goes on a coke binge and mistakes Caitlyn Jenner for Melania.





	

As Donald Trump arrived at the Emmy's after party with his wife Melania, he couldn't believe he had to socialize with all these nobodies who only got famous on dumb luck. It was so beneath him and his station. He had built himself up from nothing, with only a small loan of one million dollars from his father. These people were nothing but dirt under his feet, a bunch of nobodies who would be infinitely lucky to be in the presence of Donald Trump tonight.

However Donald had nothing better to do on this Sunday evening and he reasoned it would be fun to boost about how great he was. He knew he had the biggest bank account and dick, the best hair, the most perfect looking tan, and the funnest personality around. He loved making everyone envy him even more then he knew they already did. He knew his bad mood would improve as soon as he found some people to brag to. That, followed by a nice coke binge and a couple of women for him to do what he pleased with (for he was Donald Trump and no one would ever say no to him) ought to cheer him up. 

The reason for Donald's foul mood was quite simple. A reporter had the nerve to accuse him of being racist. Donald knew he was the least racist person to ever exist. He shook in anger at the accusation. Donald's anger continued to spiral out of control as he thought of all the discrimination he faced on a daily basis. It was exhausting being a rich, white, straight male in this society. He was constantly being persecuted and Donald was frankly quite sick of it. So with these thoughts swimming in his brain, Donald decided to fire off an angry tweet to put that heinous reporter in their place.

As Donald fired off his angry tweet, Melania walked away to mingle with the crowd. Finishing his tweet and noticing her absence, Donald shrugged it off, figuring she must be feeling quite plain beside him. He headed into the crowd and decided to find some people to brag to. 

Donald spent the next hour or so bragging to various different people. Most of whom got so jealous they excused themselves from the conversation within the first two minutes. Donald smiled with the knowledge that he was making people so jealous that they could not bare his presence. 

Donald headed back into the crowd to find his fortieth person to brag to (Donald could not count quite that high, however he estimated it to be at about this number). However, as did so he bumped into a middle aged chubby Mexican man. 

"Someone call immigration! " shouted Donald loudly.

Everyone turned to look at him in shock. The Mexican man began to laugh and the crowd followed suit. Donald was stunned and confused , this man was about to be deported, why was he laughing? Once the laughter died down the man headed back into the crowd.

Donald decided to call immigration later, for now he had more pressing matters to attend to. For Donald had just spotted a black man in the crowd. Donald didn't know who it was, as Donald could never tell one black man from another. But, Donald knew being black must mean this man would have drugs, hopefully some coke. Excitedly, Donald approached the man. Donald needed his fix and was so happy to find someone who could help him. 

"I need some coke." stated Donald as soon as he approached the man.

The man looked at Donald threateningly, but then the man was black and Donald considered any look they gave to be threatening. 

"What makes you think I have coke on me?" he asked curiously. 

"You're black." Donald replied as if the answer should be obvious. 

"Excuse me?" he replied, obviously insulted. 

Donald did not take the hint and insisted "Black people always have drugs." he said stating what he felt was clearly obvious. 

Luckily for Donald, Kim Kardasian appeared right then and whispered something in the man's ear. The man hurried off upstairs after her, both of them shedding their clothes on the way up. 

Donald's luck continued to approve further as two blonde twin girls approached him. Donald eyed them up and down, it had been a while since he had been with twins, and these two, especially one of them, had the skinny starving to death look he loved so much. Donald decided that in spite of their faces he would give them both the gift of the Donald tonight. However, before he could grab them by their pussies, the skinnier, yet less pretty one spoke up.

"We overheard your conversation and I wanted to let you know, I have some coke if you are interested."

Donald smiled and replied "Sure, let's go upstairs and have a few hits." 

The two girls nodded in unison and Donald followed them up to an empty room and closed the door. 'This is going to be great, some coke first, and then I will have these two compete to see who can please the Donald better.' thought Donald to himself.

"How much are you wanting?" asked one of the twins, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"As much as you got, I'm really rich." Donald replied flashing his most charming orange toothed smile at them both. 

"We know who you are." she replied, rolling her eyes. 

"Well, we only have enough for about thirty lines and we need quite a bit for ourselves. How about we sell you enough for six lines?" chimed in the other twin.

"No, I need more then that. Look, I'm really really rich. I'll buy it all." 

"We don't need your money, we have a fashion empire worth a billion ourselves." she replied, rolling her eyes.

"Do you have something else you need then?" said Donald suggestively.

"No" both twins replied in unison. 

"We are going to leave now." stated one of them as they started to leave the room, nausea setting in to both of them at even the mere thought of sex with Donald Trump.

Donald grabbed the more attractive one by the pussy right as the other one left.

"I need my coke now." Donald said as tears started to roll out of his eyes. 

She sighed, "Fine, just let me go" 

Surprisingly Donald removed his hand from her crotch. Knowing her sister had triple this amount on her and would hopefully share some, she quickly tossed all of her stash on the floor and rushed out of the room.

Donald laid down on the bed with his coke, sinking into a wet stain that two lovers had left there a very short time ago. He was much too eager to begin his coke binge to care though. Although he felt a bit disappointed at the twins rejection of him, Donald knew they were just insecure and unsure if they could please a god such as him. 

Donald sat up and began to snort the coke, quickly shooting all eight lines before the hallucinations began.

Donald's luck must have ended by now as he began to hallucinate a very naked Hillary Clinton approaching him. 

"No, get away!" Donald yelled.

The Hillary hallucination continued to advance on him as Donald ran out of the room screaming. Luckily the only people upstairs were already occupied and paid no heed to Donald's screams.

After a couple of awkward situations, Donald finally found another unoccupied room and this one was Hillary free. He then spent the next two hours hallucinating things he knew in his Trump heart couldn't possibly be true. Among his hallucinations were Obama having been born in the USA, and global warming actually being a real thing. 

Once the hallucinations died down Donald began to get paranoia. He was sure all the men at the party must be jealous of him and have teamed up a plot to kill him. Donald knew they must be extremely jealous of him, as he was the handsomest man there, with the best tan, best hair, and biggest bank account. So Donald did the only thing he could think to do. He found the nearest closest and hid for the next hour. 

Eventually Donald reasoned that the men couldn't possibly be trying to kill him. For he was Donald Trump, and he was the sexiest, most handsomest man alive, with the best hair, best tan and biggest bank account ever. If anything Donald reasoned that the men may be plotting to gang rape him. While the idea turned Donald on quite a bit, Donald decided he was tired and would rather head home. Donald was looking forward to taking a long relaxing bath in his solid gold tub filled to the brim with thousands of hundred dollar bills. Nothing made Donald quite as happy as when he was surrounded by his immense wealth. Even grabbing women by the pussy, insulting disabled reporters and screwing his Ivanka replica sex doll failed to make him as happy.

Donald was also beginning to get quite a bit hungry. His coke binges normally gave him a loss of appetite, but what nobody knew about Donald was that he could actually out eat Chris Christie. Donald was really craving one of his Trump steaks right now. The greasy, mealy, grainy flavor he had so loved from Trump steaks was lacking in steak from any other meat shop. Unfortunately, Trump steaks had gone bankrupt many years ago, as had Trump Airlines, Trump Casinos, and many other of Trumps endeavors. 'All due to my employees incompetence.' thought Donald angrily.

However, there was no need focusing on the negative when Donald knew he had so much more going for him. Donald knew he ate a lot and was very thankful to his Trump genes that his body was still the most fit and muscular body around in spite of that. Donald knew if he hadn't already made himself rich all on his own that he could surely become rich selling his genetic code. He knew he was superior to everyone else on this earth. He wondered if he could be part of the secret alien race the Illuminati had briefed him on many years ago. However, he knew he was much smarter then them as well. After all, they had only built a spaceship that could cross through space and time via wormholes. He however had built a huge empire all on his own with only small loan of a million dollars. There was clearly no question of who was smarter.

With those thoughts Donald decided to get out of the closet and find Melania and head home to his Trump Tower. A very Yuuuuuuge tower. Built by many illegal immigrants who Donald couldn't wait to send back to Mexico as soon as they finished some other projects for him. It was time to make America great again and they did not belong here.

After around twenty or so minutes of bragging about various great things about himself to various nobodies, Donald finally spotted her talking to a women whom looked identical to her. They were even wearing the same white dress. Donald paused for a moment. Perhaps the eight lines of coke he'd sniffed were making him see double? He tried to recall Melania's family and drew a blank. He had married her for her looks, not her conversation skills. She wasn't as hot as his daughter Ivanka, but her plastic surgeon kept her looking young and hot. Oh Ivanka.....at the thought of his daughter Donald began to grow hard. She'd not let him into her bed, or even on a date yet, but Donald knew one day Ivanka would give in. No one could resist him. He was Donald Trump. The greatest man alive.

Donald decided he had best get some action. But whom to choose? There were so many women around with nice tits and asses. His head was hurting from trying to choose. He glanced at Melania and her twin again. He decided he would have a threesome tonight and it would be with twins too just as he had planned earlier in the night. 

Donald thought back to the last threesome he had ever so kindly included his wife in. It had been been nearly a month ago, with his life size sex doll which he had custom modeled after Ivanka. Donald normally preferred to keep his beautiful Ivanka to himself, taking the doll on dates even sometimes. However, Melania rarely let him in her chambers nowadays and her birthday had been that day. Donald knew giving her his cock on her birthday would be the best gift possible so he had ever so kindly decided to grace her with his presence and that of his lovely daughter doll that night. Donald reasoned that the Donald cock just must be much too big for her to handle on a regular basis. He knew that was why women he slept with always avoided him after that first time. Sometimes he would catch them talking to their friends and pointing and laughing at him. Donald knew they must be giggling like school girls over how massive his cock was. Poor girls, knowing they couldn't handle the Donald a second time.

Donald shook off those thoughts. He could feel himself getting dizzier and dizzier from all the coke he'd done. He began to sniffle a bunch. Eventually a booger fell and landed in his mouth. Donald savored the taste just as Ted Cruz had savored his booger eating during the debate many months ago. Donald however knew his booger must be much tastier, for it was a Trump booger.

As Donald continued to feel worse, he began to fear what would happen to him were he to pass out. Surely every man, women and possibly even some small animals would have their way with him. Donald did not want to wake up with a hamster stuck up his ass again. (RIP Lemiwinks. ) Donald knew no one could resist the Donald. With this knowledge, Donald hurried on to Melania and her twin, eager for a night of being worshiped like the God he knew he was. He almost envied them for how lucky they were to have him tonight. But Donald knew he was luckier, because he was a great man, with a great prick, with a great bank account, with a great everything. He wished he could just go fuck himself. People often did tell him to go fuck himself, which bewildered Donald. While Donald knew his cock was massive, this was still not possible. Still Donald would nod and thank them when they told him to go fuck himself. It was so flattering to him that they thought so highly of his great cock.

As Donald got closer to the twins, one of them headed away from the other back into the crowd. Donald wasn't sure which one had left. He looked in the crowd but could not spot her. He began to sniff again. That coke was so great how he wished he had more! Finally Donald reached the remaining twin. 'Is this my wife/property or her twin?' he wondered, getting a harder......headache. She began to say something, but Donald heard none of it as just then he spotted the other twin. 'Perfect' He thought to himself, hurrying through the crowd to catch her and bring her back to her twin for the greatest night of her life.

Donald caught up to her and to his shock she pulled him away from the crowd and upstairs. He protested some, but she ignored his protests and with her strength dragged him away from the crowd. Women rarely threw themselves at him like this. Donald knew it must be because he was so handsome and godlike that they feared rejection. Therefore, Donald deduced that this twin must be Melania. She looked even more beautiful tonight. 'Well another day for a threesome.' he reasoned. Donald was a good person and so for now he would do Melania a favor and give her what he knew she must have been wanting all night.

Caitlyn Jenner pulled Donald into a private room and attacked his chapped lips with full force. Caitlyn normally only liked women, but she found the Donald so sexy that she couldn't resist. And with those small hands of his she would certainly be feeling a women's touch tonight either way. She also loved that he was a huge champion for transgender, gay and lesbian rights. She'd proudly told this to reporters before. Caitlyn was proud to be a Trump supporter. She couldn't wait until he became president. The country was so lucky to have the Donald, and herself even luckier to have him tonight. Caitlyn knew Donald would be as great in bed as he was out of bed. 

Caitlyn and Donald attacked each others bodies with full force, ripping off each others clothes like Putin ripped off the election. He grabbed her by the pussy and shoved her down onto the bed and climbed on top of her. Time to give her what she wanted! He envied her right now.

Caitlyn felt Donald insert a pinky finger in her. However, Donald had small fingers so she reasoned it was possibly an index or middle finger.

"Oh Donny! Don't tease! Give it to me now!"

"I'm giving it to you. I'm gonna give it to you so good Melania!"

Lost in her passion, Caitlyn failed to notice the slip up. She began to feel the pinky move in and out. 

"Donald please!" 

The pinky's speed increased and after 20 more seconds Caitlyn felt something wet and sticky in her cunt. Donald collapsed on top of her, still sweating and panting like Chris Christie in an all you can eat buffet. 

A confused Caitlyn laid silent in shock. Was that it? No, it couldn't possibly be, she'd barely felt a thing and whatever had been in her could not possibly have been a cock, let alone the cock of the greatest man alive. 

Donald got up off of her and she glimpsed as his manhood to confirm. It was barely an inch, if that. However her shock quickly turned to disgust as she noticed something more disturbing. His cock and ball sack had sores all over and puss was oozing out of one of them. She wished she had thought of a condom, but she had been too lost in passion at the time.

Donald got dressed and told her to hurry up. Caitlyn however was completely disgusted and devastated. She had fantasized about being with the Donald for years, even back when she had been Bruce. There had even been an encounter back when she had been Bruce. Back in the 80s Donald had given her a very amazing BJ before passing out drunk. So she couldn't believe after all these years of lust and longing her hero had been such a disappointment in the sack. She wondered if anyone else had ever felt such disappointment in their life. She thought for sure the Donald would make her designer cunt feel great again, but she had barely felt a thing. In fact she was sure she now likely had an STD, so her cunt was the opposite of great again now. She quickly dressed and hurried out of the room, ignoring Donald, and quickly mingled with the crowd. 

Donald shrugged off Melania's odd behavior. Perhaps she was in pain from his massive cock. He left the room and headed to the john to take a piss. As puss, blood and piss squirted out from his cock the guy pissing next to him spoke up.

"You may want to get that looked at." he stated to Donald.

People often told Donald this upon seeing seeing his cock. They must think it was much too Yuuuuuuge to be normal. 

Donald smiled his orange toothed smile and replied

"Thanks, but I love my cock like this, if you want I will give you the honor of sucking it."

The man zipped up his pants and hurried off. 'Well, he must be intimidated by my massive size, poor guy.' thought Donald.

Donald headed out of the john and spent the next twenty or so minutes grabbing women by the pussy and mistaking nearly every non white person for hired help and demanding they go find Melania for him. 

Finally he himself spotted her. He rushed up to her and without so much as a greeting grabbed her by the pussy and told her it was time to go. She agreed and they headed out into his Yuuuuuuge limo.

"That was the best sex ever Melania" Donald said smiling at his wife/property as they sat down in the back of his Yuuuuuuge limo on the nine hundred thousand dollar custom made gold plated sofa.

Melania looked at him confused. 

"What sex?" she replied blankly. 

'Damn, I must've fucked her brains out so good she can't remember.' was Donald's last thought before finally passing out from the eight lines of coke and shitting his thirty thousand dollar pants.


End file.
